Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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