i love accidental penises.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize