you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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