i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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