Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
