Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
