Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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