At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
