Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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