I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
