I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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