life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize