can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize