too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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