I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
