shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
