Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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