it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
