Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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