I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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