Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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