His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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