When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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