so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
