Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
