this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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