There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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