When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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