Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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