Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
