"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
