so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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