I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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