we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
