i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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