Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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