I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
