And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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