i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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