My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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