We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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