i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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