Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
