it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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