When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
