chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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