so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
