you would pick up someone in the library
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
