Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize