2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
