Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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