so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
