help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
