Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
