Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
