Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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