Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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