too bad you live with your parents still
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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