I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
