Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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