I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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