im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize