I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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