I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
