whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
