My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
