wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
