Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just want to make out with him forever
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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