We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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