I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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