i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
