marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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