I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
