You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
