She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
