I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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