There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
