So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
