i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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