i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
