he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Pooping to opera.
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