problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize