Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
