2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
