It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
